From the moment I learned about ayahuasca, I knew I would one day find myself trying it out- little did I know that I would have the pleasure of experiencing it in its very birthplace, deep in the jungles of the Amazonas.
My first experience with psychedelics began in 2022, trying out magic mushrooms on a small island in Indonesia. A whole new world opened up to me- and I became passionate about further delving into the depths of the exploration of consciousness and the great unknown. I became insatiably curious to learn more about the psychedelic world- the next step was certainly the South American plant medicine ayahuasca.
After experiencing ayahuasca in its place of origin, I wanted to share not only my insights, but a thorough review of the medicine, my retreat, and what to expect. For further information and questions, don’t hesitate to reach out at hello@sammiegonesolo.com.
As a disclaimer, I do not condone the use of psychedelic substances for those who have a history of psychiatric disorders such as schizophrenia. It is highly suggested to have a psychiatric evaluation, as well as the approval of a trusted shaman, before taking on this experience. I also highly recommend avoiding any retreats which do not take place within South America as this medicine belongs to the native peoples there.
What in the world is Ayahuasca?
Ayahuasca, meaning “vine of the soul” in its native Quechua, is an ancient plant medicine originating in the Amazon. It has been used for over 1,000 years by indigenous peoples across Latin America for treatment of mental, physical, and spiritual ailments.
Ayahuasca contains Dimethyltryptamine (DMT), otherwise known as “the spirit molecule.” Little is known about DMT, but it’s theorized that it is naturally released in the human body upon the moments of birth and death. You can smoke or vape DMT in its pure form, which usually lasts about 10-30 minutes, depending on the user. But with Ayahuasca, things work a bit differently.
Ayahuasca brew contains the caapi plant, acting as a monoamine oxidase inhibitor (MAOI). The presence of this ingredient means that the medicine is able to remain in the body, bloodstream, and brain without being broken down so quickly. Ayahuasca, unlike traditional DMT, usually lasts about 6 hours- but it is all dependent on the user. I am on the smaller side, so for me, each Ayahuasca trip lasted about 10 or more hours!
Why did I choose to take Ayahuasca?
It’s said in the ancient tradition of ayahuasca that when it’s time to take the medicine, it will “call to you.” I found that to be true- months before deciding to take on a retreat, I started to see its name everywhere.
Perhaps it’s my risk-taking nature or maybe my sense of curiosity- but I felt ayahuasca was something I simply had to do while in the Amazon. With all of the intense stories I’d heard as well as my own previous experiences with mushrooms, my interest was piqued.
Ayahuasca called to me because I knew there was more to learn- about myself, our world, and this mysterious universe we find ourselves wandering about. It was a call which encouraged me to face many fears- and to leap straight into the depths of the unknown.
How I found my retreat, Novalis
I ended up stumbling upon my perfect Ayahuasca retreat on Reddit. I had certain priorities when searching for the ideal place for me. I wanted an authentic experience with indigenous people- though it would certainly be uncomfortable living in such a different way, I knew it was how this medicine was intended to be taken. There are plenty of retreats out there that cater to you with vegan meal plans, massages, and air conditioned rooms- but in my opinion, this is not a time where you should indulge in such luxuries- this is the time to sit with yourself and your thoughts.
Luckily enough, Reddit brought me to Novalis. Founded by Juan, a Lima native, Novalis was created to bring a traditional Ayahuasca experience to those seeking just that.
Preparation for the retreat
A month prior to an ayahuasca retreat, it is highly recommended to begin cleansing the body through strict adherence to a “dieta”- both for the body and mind. In preparation for a retreat, you should cut out alcohol, drugs, sex, violent media, meat products, and certain spices for an entire month.
Getting to Novalis
Venturing out to Novalis is no easy feat. It involved a drive from Puerto Maldonado to a port, then an hour long boat ride through the Madre de Dios river, and finally, an hour long hike to Novalis. By this time, we were deeply isolated within the Amazon, making the jungle our new home for the retreat.
The Accommodation
Living at Novalis means being in constant contact with nature. You use compostable toilets, live in treehouses, and have no electricity whatsoever. You are quite literally alone with your thoughts- a true test of self discipline! Indigenous people make up the team at Novalis, providing the opportunity to learn from their way of life- and the abundance of ancient knowledge they carry. You learn to eat as they eat, rest as they rest, and live in harmony with the vast jungle around you.
Everyday life at Novalis
Our ayahuasca ceremonies occurred every other day, beginning at 20:00. Before then, we had breakfast and lunch and the rest of the day we had to ourselves. This type of schedule was eye-opening for me as I realized how much of my daily life is normally dedicated to electronics. At Novalis, I spent my time reading, coloring, taking walks, or sleeping- I don’t think I’ve ever slept so much in my life!.
The Ceremonies
Our ceremonies were led by the owner Juan as well as Jonathan, a local curandero (shaman) along with Yuri playing guitar. The ceremonies involve many sacred rituals including the smoking of ceremonial tobacco, a setting of intentions, and the singing of icaros, ancient songs which are said to summon the spirit of ayahuasca.
Integration
After any type of psychedelic experience, integration is absolutely essential. The day after each ceremony, we had a group integration session. We sat in a circle and reflected on our experiences and visions from the previous night. This was one of my favorite parts of the retreat as it was intriguing to hear others’ visions and revelations and beautiful to see how much they were healing. It was intriguing to see such an overlap as well- as many people had completely parallel experiences. We all agreed- “the color of the universe is purple!” Juan also provided plenty of pieces of wisdom during these sessions, all of which I will take with me going forward in life.
The reality of Ayahuasca
Let me be clear when I say that sitting with ayahuasca is not for the faint of heart. This is not a glamorous experience- and it’s not meant to be. It is real, it is raw, it is authentic. You find yourself sitting in a room in the jungle, surrounded by people throwing up (“purging”) while the curandero sings icaros to you. Every day, you sweat in the 35° heat and face intense humidity and masses of mosquitoes.
Over my 3 sessions, I ended up purging over 20 times (this is much more than most people so don’t be alarmed!). Don’t let this put you off- weirdly, purging was amazing! You could feel something bad being pulled out of you. In fact, you later saw a deep black liquid filling your “purge bucket-” as I said, this experience is not glamorous. Yet somehow, it was pure catharsis. And afterwards I felt surprisingly fresh and energized- “reborn,” as many like to say.
Insights from my experience
Ayahuasca revealed to me many truths- partly told through my own personal view of life, and partly as a unified, ego-less form of consciousness. I was able to see the purpose of all things- the hard times in my life, those who had wronged me, rejected me, misunderstood me. It was as if the puzzle pieces finally fit together, part of the mystery revealed.
Ayahuasca doesn’t show you who you are- it shows you what you are. It provides clarity to existence, the human experience, the questions that kept you lying awake at night as a child.
Though many lessons I will keep for myself, there was one that Ayahuasca gave me to share with the world.
In one of my visions, I found myself in a vast, light-filled landscape- somewhere you might describe as heavenly. I saw entities resembling white jellyfish-mushroom-looking things, each with a big eye in their center. They morphed into one, and I understood that this being held great knowledge. I was allowed one question, anything in the universe, and was told I could receive the truth. And so I asked my most-asked question throughout my life- “WHY?” “I have, in these visions, seen greater realms, incredible scenes, unimaginable places to the human mind. So why send souls to Earth? Why are we here?” My body began to move uncontrollably, and out of my own mouth came the answer, so simple, so powerful- “to feel.” I was overwhelmed with the beauty of it all, of what a privilege it is to exist, to feel. Ayahuasca showed me the whole range of feelings- jealousy, rage, grief, joy, love, peace. And they were all so beautiful. It is this feeling that allows us a human experience- so no matter where you may be in life, no matter how low or high, as long as you allow yourself to feel, you are living with purpose- and that is enough.
Reflections two years later
Now coming on two years since my experience, the lessons I learned still hold true. Taking a psychedelic doesn’t mean an end to your hard times- but it does provide you the clarity to understand how to better navigate the world. To know that things happen for you, not to you- each serves a purpose, an opportunity to grow. To step into the highest version of yourself, to move through life with empathy, understanding, and most importantly, love. For it is love that will heal our world.
No matter how much hate may exist on our little planet, it stems from a need for love. For inside, each one of us is a child, who wants nothing more than to share their essence with the world, to love and to be loved.
Do what you can to bring love to the world, however you see fit. Help out in your community, create your art, talk to people, really talk to them. Look to understand. Look to learn and grow and change. Look to become the most authentic you- the you who existed before you needed a paycheck, before you learned what was “cool,” what was “accepted.” The world needs your essence- it needs you.
Final Disclaimer
Let it be known that ayahuasca is NOT a “drug.” This is an ancient medicine and deserves respect in order to honor thousands of years of tradition and ancient indigenous knowledge. I strongly advise you not to take ayahuasca outside of a ritual setting and without a curandero present. You may be skeptical about these ancient traditions, but I assure you- they make a monumental difference and make the experience the best it can be.
